Ultimate Warrior: Ultimate D*ck or Ultimate Humanitarian

I refrained from writing this piece immediately after the condescending Susan G Komen segment on Raw and SmackDown. I did this in order to avoid publishing a scathing burial.

Before I make my key points, I would like to go back and acknowledge the fact that I met the Ultimate Warrior on two occasions, once in Manchester England in 2007 and again in New York City in 2013. I must say, Warrior took a decent amount of time to acknowledge each and every fan, and he conveyed a genuine interest in each person who’d come out to meet him. Although both meet and greets ran significantly over the allotted time, the Warrior signed every autograph, did every photo and treated every fan with respect and warmth. And that, will be the last positive thing that I’ll say about the Ultimate Warrior.

Being tremendous Ultimate Warrior fans growing up, my friend and I were understandably brimming with excitement about the prospect of The Warrior coming to the UK. I’m sure no one would’ve ever expected that he would be making his way to the UK and would be meeting fans there, 9 years after his career ended (I am only considering his time with WWE and his final run in WCW as being his career, not any of his independent bookings). Both my friend and I ended up paying extra money at the meet and greet to get 7-8 additional items of memorabilia signed. One of these items was a replica of the historic WWF/WWE Winged Eagle Championship (pictured below).

d38dc101-c4b9-4adf-8d43-9a674f24fea0

6 years later, as the shine started to wear off the memorabilia, my friend came to the realization that he didn’t really need 8 separate signed Ultimate Warrior pieces, and opted to sell 3 of the autographed items on eBay. To my friends shock, the items were quickly removed and he was immediately hit with a licensing violation from “Mr Warrior.” Yes, that’s right, you couldn’t sell any legitimately autographed Warrior merchandise, that you paid and queued for, because Mr. Warrior, formerly Mr. Helwig, would monitor eBay every day, removing anything signed by him and falsely claiming they were counterfeit.

It’s hardly surprising that the Warrior had so much time on his hands. We already know that he was notoriously hard to work with and black-listed by wrestling, so the Warrior had the choice of spending time with his wife, while his children were at school, or trolling eBay and going on multiple social media tirades to kill his time. Now that we know his wife has the disposition of a mind-numbly stupid air-head with a voice that makes nails on a chalk board sound like Whitney Houston in her prime, it’s understandable why he spent his days locked in his office, glued to his PC, trolling people to cling on to relevancy.

However, that’s just the start of Warrior’s controversial behavior on the internet. We cannot forget his infamous rants. For those who are unfamiliar with his rants, let’s take a look at the intriguing mix of hate, racism and homophobia, that Mr. Warrior blessed us with.

Let’s start with Mr. Warrior’s comments about the British Bulldog, after Bulldog’s passing in May 2002.

Warrior said, “Davey committed a slow, sure, suicide. He was eternally blaming his ‘falling of the horse’ again and again on nothing more than circumstances of his life. Circumstances he kept creating for himself. I read over and over: ‘I was involved with the Harts for 20 years. It was the worst 20 years I’ve ever had. I have no intention of having anything to do with them.’ Why then was he banging his ex-brother-in-law’s bimbo ex-wife?”

We now move on to Mr Warrior’s comments about Hulk Hogan’s divorce.

“You were both whores – neither one of you had a problem with getting thrills on the side. In fact, Terry, you tried to get me to sample those thrills. I bet I’m the only guy who said no to doing your wife.”

Warrior continued to ramble on, nonsensically, accusing Linda and Hulk of breaking up the marriage of the Macho Man Randy Savage and the lovely Miss Elizabeth. Not to mention Hogan aiding people in becoming junkies, so that he could keep control over them.

Following the WWE’s release of the controversial “Self destruction of the Ultimate Warrior” DVD, the Warrior went on a tirade, laying into multiple people. This what Warrior had to say about Bobby Heenan.

“As for you, Booby Heenan, it’s just too difficult to keep a straight face talking about the pure two-faced bag of shit you are (and have always been), what, with you also actually wearing one as a piece of body jewelry. You are dying, diseased on the inside, and no more time is left to get back any of the integrity that matters the most on death’s bed. Imagine what it will be like, lying there taking in your last breaths, knowing you whored yourself out your whole life, and had to, in your final years, be faced with emptying your own personal shit bag affirming to you the true value of what you achieved in your life. Not even Vince could come up with a better finish than this. Karma is just a beautiful thing to behold.”

The Warrior didn’t exclusively insult people in the wrestling industry, he also hit out at Heath Ledger following his untimely death.

“By today’s standard, though, I do have to agree that he was a great father. Perhaps even greater then the father of the year, Hulk Hogan. After all, Leather Hedger did what it took to kill himself. His kid is without a father, yes, but the negative influence is now removed and his own child has the chance for a full recovery.”

His thoughts on homosexuality had been well documented over the years, so this seemed a knock on Ledger, for portraying homosexuality in Brokeback Mountain.

Warrior’s most controversial rant was arguably when he attacked the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

“If we could be shown what general conditions they lived in before the hurricane, we would see that had little respect for what they did have. We would see just how unorganized, unclean and dysfunctionally they lived. They never gave a care for order, cleanliness or function before, but now that they can get someone’s attention who will possibly take over the responsibility of their life for them, they go on these tirades about how their life has been ruined. Their lives were already in ruin — self ruin. Ruined by the bad choices they made over and over.

And they are fat. Have you ever seen so many fat people? Poverty? Poverty of what? Having enough to buy so much food to eat that you become obese — this is poverty? Only one TV? This is poverty? A house with a roof over your head? This is Poverty? Indoor plumbing? Electric appliances? Refrigeration? Phones? Cell phones? Computers? Designer clothes made by rap stars? $200 Nikes? Free medicine and medical care if you really need it? Is having all this poverty? What the hell, then, do we call the scenes they shoot out of Africa that they use to lay guilt trips down on all of us.

They claim New Orleans was (is) a great city. Maybe once it was, I don’t know. Too, maybe it’s just always been corrupt as it has been for years and years. Truth is, today, it was nothing more than a pornographic cesspool of decadence and depravity. You know, an East Coast version of that Las Vegas take on vacation time — “what you do there stays there.” You go there, drink and drink and drink and behave like a pervert, reprobate and degenerate, take a huge dose of antibiotics and a nice extra long shower before you hop on the plane back home, and, “Hey, who knows any better?” You go back to the church, PTA, and local council and “squarely” fit right back in. One thing is for sure, IF New Orleans ever was a great city, it certainly was not because it had leaders and citizenry like the leaders and citizenry it has today.”

In summary, it’s clear to see that Mr Warrior was actually the complete d*ck that the title refers to him has.

Personally, I’m a big advocate of free speech and wasn’t overly bothered by anything the Warrior ever said. I loathe that we are now judged for not all sharing the same views, with political correctness over-ruling us and brainwashing us into a society of sheep. However, I am an advocate of horses for courses- meaning using the right people for the right roles. Naming an award after the Warrior, especially considering what it symbolises and WWE using his iconography as the face their Susan G Komen campaign, is like R.Kelly being used for the teen choice awards.

The Warrior’s initial Hall of Fame speech has been disgustingly edited to suit WWE’s political agenda. If you go back on the WWE Network and watch it, you’ll clearly see that Warrior wasn’t even advocating for the company to honour people of inspiration- he was referring to WWE staff who work behind the scenes, such as the production crew. The WWE opted to manipulate this into something it absolutely never was.

In fact, if you look at the following passage written by Bret Hart, it appears as though the Warrior wasn’t exactly a big fan of charity.

“I got to see exactly what kind of champion Warrior was during a show in Omaha. Propped up on a stretcher a few feet outside the dressing room was a Make A-Wish kid who looked to be down to his last few hours. There was not a hair left on his head, and not even his Warrior face paint could mask his sad eyes. Sickly pale and barely breathing through a ventilator tube, the boy wore a purple Warrior T-shirt and green and orange tassels tied around his biceps to honor his hero. His mother and father and an older brother and sister were with him, patiently waiting for the promised encounter with The Ultimate Warrior. I bent over to say hello, as did all the other wrestlers on the way into the dressing room. It was odd, but there was Warrior actually sitting with us: He usually kept to himself in his private dressing room. By the time the third match started, a WWF public relations rep poked his head in and politely asked Warrior if he was ready to meet the dying boy. Warrior grunted, ‘In a fuckin’ minute. I’m busy.’ I thought to myself, Busy doing what, talking to a bunch of guys you can’t stand anyway? As the night wore on the family waited just outside the dressing room door, the boy hanging on to his dying wish to meet his hero. As I was returning to the dressing room after my match, I was relieved to see that they weren’t there anymore; I assumed that the kid’s wish had come true. Warrior’s entrance music played while Jim and I quickly showered in hopes of beating the crowd out of the building. We’d have to hurry since Warrior never went over ten minutes. We dressed, grabbed our bags and took off. As we rounded a corner down a backstage ramp, we came upon the boy and his weary family, who had been moved there so as not to get in the way of Warrior’s entrance. I thought, That lousy piece of shit. He’d made them wait all night, unable to summon the compassion to see this real little warrior. Hogan, Randy and countless others, including André, never hesitated to take the time to meet a sick, dying kid. My disgust for Warrior magnified a thousand times. To me he was a coward, a weakling and a phony hero.”

The Warrior isn’t to blame for anything the WWE are doing and how they are choosing to falsely remember him, the fault all lies at the feet of the WWE. The confusing part is why are the WWE re-writing the legacy of the Warrior, a guy who was piece of s*it to deal with, who left the company three times, and was only with them for 5 years between 1987-1996? Why not Randy Savage? A man whom Bruce Prichard says, “bent over backwards” to help children and charities and enjoyed doing it. Wouldn’t a Randy Savage have been more appropriate? One can only assume there is some to truth to the Stephanie McMahon rumours. But, that’s entirely another story for another day.

Advertisements