Monday Night Raw and Nitro Results and notes, January 1st 1996

Here are our notes from “Back to the Monday Night War” Podcast, available via The Dirty Sheets feed on iTunes and on our DirtySheets.Net website.

Monday Nitro Results and Podcast Notes:

  • Randy Savage beat Arn Anderson with brass knucks. Arn pulled them from his trunks and Savage intercepted and used them. He then put them back in Arn’s trunks. Everyone is clearly wondering if Randy touched Arn’s dick. Benoit and Pillman of the Horsemen come out to attack Savage, but he gets out of there.
  • Regal beat Benoit after Benoit misses a top rope plunger to the outside. Regan just rolls in and pins him. Bad way to book Benoit.
  • Gene Okerlund comes out after the match and questions if Benoit was drunk from the Flair celebration. Pillman comes out with Arn Anderson and slates Benoit and Arn for being 0-2. Pillman says something about spending time with naked women is only half their job. The Dungeon of Doom then come out because Pillman mentioned them. Brutus looks like a complete moron trying to play angry with that shitty Zodiac gear on.
  • Super Assassins/Super Jobbers/Ass Clowns come out to job to Luger and Sting, who have made up after Starrcade. Heenan comes out with an elaborate explanation about why Hart doesn’t accompany Luger when he teams with Sting. I don’t understand how Luger is still managed by Hart when Hart ditched Luger for Flair at Starrcade. Luger wins the match with a Torture Rack, off a “hot-tag.”
  • During the last match, Pittman hilariously asks Mongo to manage him and gets turned down. That’s now, Heenan, Hart, Cornel Parker and Mongo. Mongo then refers to him as Pitbull after he’s gone. This is lowest gimmick on the show.
  • Giant interview. Jimmy Hart, is the only guy who can stand-up to Gene Okerlund. Jimmy Hart actually acknowledges what we’ve noticed, he manages EVERYONE. Giant cuts a promo that’s so bad, Okerlund says, “I don’t know what he’s saying.” I think I heard Hogan. Hogan and Flair is next for the WCW Title, and I’m fully expecting a WCW DQ finish, with Giant interfering.
  • Hogan beats Flair via DQ in the Main Event. Bishoff says it took a long time to get Flair to defend his title. He won it FIVE days ago. Hogan has also been suspended. Bishoff tries to say the crowd are all behind Hogan after a small Hogan chant breaks out, which was started by the Hogan fanatic who dresses as Hogan. You can see him at several Nitro shows and most famously at the 1993 WWE King of the Ring, when Hogan lost to Yokozuna. As predicted. Hogan wins via DQ, but when The Horsemen interfere. Hogan stupidly no sells brass knuckles from Arn Anderson, which makes Savage looks bad, as they knocked him out cold at Starrcade. The other Horsemen and Giant come to the ring, but Randy Savage cleans house with a stool he takes from Giant.
  • Savage and Hogan cut a promo at the end. You can still hear Hogan being booed. Savage and Hogan always seem to cut promos that attempt to explain WCW booking, but somehow manage to make it even more confusing. I thought they booked a 2 vs 4 match vs the Horsemen, but Bishoff said it was 2 vs 2, against Anderson and Flair- proving my point. However, Heenan then tells us it will be 2 vs 4, whilst Bishoff tells him no it won’t be. This company is a mess, even though it’s about to hit its peak.

Raw Results and Podcast Notes:

  • Raw will be giving us a Raw Bowl to open the year, however, 3 minutes into the show, McMahon and Lawler’s cheesy football puns are killing me.
  • Razor and Savio Vega come out and Razor Ramon is presented with a gift from Goldust’s usher. Razor proceeds to beat the Hell out of him with the box. We are already seeing that 1996 is going to be far more edger than people recall.
  • The Raw Bowl features a 4 team tag match, consisting of The Smoking Gunns, Razor and Savio, The 123 Kid and Sid, and Yokozuna and Owen Hart.
  • Razor and Savio go out first. Razor is about to eliminate the Kid with the Razor’s edge and the Kid calls, “time out.” Ted Dibiase then distracts the referee allowing Sid to pull 123 Kid into the corner and hit Razor with weak closeline for behind. This allows Kid to pin Razor. Weak elimination. Savio calling timeout is ignored, a trend that will continue.
  • Yokozuna and Owen go next when Yoko accidentally Bonzai Drops Owen in a hilarious spot. From there, the Gunns go on to win the Raw Bowl, when Razor Ramon comes out to interfere and cost 123 Kid match. Two further timeouts were ignored here, making the overall concept stupid.
  • We then inexplicably get a full replay of the “Hog Pen” match from In Your House, featuring Hunter Heart Helmsley and Henry Godwin.
  • Diesel beats Mabel in under 10 seconds in the Main Event with a big boot. The Mabel push is seemingly over after this. This is what happens when you break Undertaker’s orbital socket.
  • Raw closes out by announcing that Vader will debut at the Royal Rumble and with the debut of the WWE’s Billionaire Ted/Nacho Man/Hukster parody segments.