Kayfabe Lies: Surprising plans for John Cena

Kayfabe lies completely make up a story to fill in the blanks that the WWE writers did not.

After his string of recent losses, John Cena has stated he doesn’t have a road to WrestleMania. In order to find his road to WrestleMania, Cena literally hit the road and set off on a long soul-searching journey.

Whilst on this journey, Cena began to phone several respected names in the business, asking for any advice and directions that didn’t lead to the Andre the Giant Battle Royal, or worse, to Impact Wrestling. John then received an incoming call. It was Bubba Ray Dudley.

Bubba: Hey John, heard you were gonna induct into the Hall of Fame?

Cena: Absolutely.

Bubba: Yeah, well, about that. Me and Devon have been watching your performances later and we were kinda hoping for someone better. We don’t know how to tell you this John.. but you.. you kinda suck right now.

This only added to Cena’s disappointment. Cena responded..

Cena: I’m sorry you feel that way Bubba. Is there anything I can do to change your mind?

Bubba: Well John, you gotta prove you still got it. And I don’t mean going toe to toe with some new guy and losing or beating a broken down Undertaker. I mean something special.

Cena: What’s special? Any advice?

Bubba thought about it for a second…

Bubba: Actually I do. Have you ever heard of Aces and Eight?

Cena: No.

Bubba: Aces and Eight were this TERRIBLE faction in TNA made up of absolute freakin nobodies, yet, I had to the lead this pile of garbage, and not only that, it was the main storyline in the company and I had to get myself over as the top freakin heel.

Cena looked stunned.

Cena: Did you do it?”

Bubba: Of course I did. I’m Bubba f*cking Ray. If you can get some sh*t like that over and prove you’ve still got it, then we want you to induct us again.

It was after this call, Cena knew what he had to do….

Sources have revealed to The Dirty Sheets that John Cena has reached out to Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco and all 3 are expected to make a huge “impact” on Monday Night Raw tonight. They are initially expected to target the Titus Brand, before setting up a huge clash with either The Miztourage or The Balor Club, at WrestleMania 34.